Texisms for New Texans

What to Know When Moving to Texas

  • Those are not access or frontage roads along the highways. They are called feeder roads. They don’t all follow along the entire highway either…so if you are trying to avoid the highways, better learn no such thing as shortcuts. You will be going the long way.

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Check out all the traffic!

 

  • BTW, do you feel like you are going in circles when driving?  That is because you ARE going in circles!  The city highways are a series of circles called loops.  So, you will hear references such as Loop 1604, Loop 410, and Loop 610.

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Feeling dizzy yet?

 

  • Highways – they are so big! The largest one called Katy Freeway or Beltway 8 in Houston has 26 lanes!!   26!!!  Do not attempt the Katy Freeway during rush hour!

    As if that is not enough, they have towering overpasses with highways everywhere. So, if you get a bit confused about where you are going and what lane you should be in. You are not alone! 2 or more in the car? Take the HOV lane. It is a breeze!

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Katy Freeway in Houston – cruising through the HOV lane

 

  • Houston – football. If you see a bunch of banners that have bulls with a star for an eye, you know you are in Houston Texans territory. You will see them everywhere. Utility poles, bumper stickers, license plates, laundry, grocery store, jerseys, hats, and even the dog’s collar!  If you see this, you are likely in Houston.

Houston Texans-Texisms-USMexpats.wordpress.com-Texas-Football-Houston-Dallas
Oh yeah Texans – clever, never miss an opportunity to place a star!

 

  • Speed bumps? No ma’am, those are speed humps. They are everywhere. They are massive! When you drive here you will understand why we all are doing the bobble head.

  • Oh yeah I did say ‘no ma’am’. You will not hear ‘yes, miss or no, miss’. You may feel a bit older when you arrive here.

  • Houston – we have NASA! It is awesome!! But, it really is located in the suburb of Webster, TX.

    Nasa Spacecraft-Texisms-USMexpats.wordpress.com-Texas-Houston-Webster-Space-Science-Technology
    NASA
  • Houston – downtown in the summer – where is everybody?  Did the heat scare them off?!  No, they are likely wandering underground in the tunnels under the city. It is like a second city with shopping, restaurants, and walkways to explore!!  The Galleria has underground parking as well.

Houston underground parking-Texisms-USMexpats.wordpress.com-Texas-Houston-Underground
Houston’s down under town

 

  • Southeast Texas from Houston to San Antonio – free air shows nearly every day – between all of the Air Force bases and the large international airports.  Even the local wildlife is ready to be air borne!

Texas Aviator-Texisms-USMexpats.wordpress.com-Texas-Air-Insects-Air Force
New design?

 

  • Oh yeah, Texas is broken down into regions. One region is Southeast Texas that includes Austin, Houston, San Antonio, and the gulf beach cities.  Each city is unique.

  • Heat – Texas has all different kinds of heat for ya! It is not uncommon to hit triple digits in the summertime.  Houston – is hot and humid – very sticky sweaty heat. Kind of like stepping out of a hot steamy shower and into an oven.  Never tried that? Well, lucky you!  San Antonio – is a dry heat with some breezes that feel cool. Shade and A/C will become your new best friends!  Lucky for us San Antonio has plenty of large shade trees.

    Texas Heat-Texisms-USMexpats.wordpress.com-Texas-Weather-TripleDigitHeat
    This is a low temp day in the summer!
  • Cold – Days and Nights in ‘winter’.  Yes, you will feel that 20 degree drop in the temperature soon after the suns sets for the evening. Yes, you will have a blanket. Yes, your Midwest friends back home will be like What?!

  • Winter – I still laugh at that coming from Chicago!!  Winter?  No, no snow except a dusting in Dallas.

  • Southeast Texas has another season – rain season!  The thunderstorms are terrifying with tremendous lightening displays.  When first arriving to Houston, it may a good idea to trade in your car for a boat.  Be sure to get a real pair of rain boots and a raincoat along with that oversize umbrella.  “Texas is like a desert” they all told me back home. Ha ha, no.

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Thunderstorm! Trapped at Trader’s Village!!

 

  • So, during rain season take one of the many bayous (pictured below) rather than the highways.  Sure beats being stuck in traffic!
Houston Bayou-Texisms-USMexpats.wordpress.com-Texas-Houston
Houston bayou

 

  • Oh yeah! When it is raining in Houston, do NOT drive. Just don’t. Find an indoor project to occupy your time. Or, you can take the bayou.

Rain Results-Texisms-USMexpats.wordpress.com-Texas-Highways-Dangerous-Storms-Thunderstorms
Can’t see anything! Shoulda taken the bayou…

 

  • No, not everything is bigger in Texas. That is just fine in some cases. Such as with the fire ants and wasps.

  • Ants – they are red hot and pack a nasty bite! Oh look an ant walking over my toes so tiny!  No, do not be fooled by their size. Get it off ASAP!!

  • Wasps – they are also red hot and come with a nasty sting. You will likely swell up. No, not with pride, but with plenty of pain.

Texas wasp-Texisms-USMexpats.wordpress.com-Texas-Houston-Southeast-Insects
Wasp up close – through the window

 

  • Yet, some things are bigger in Texas like fleas – they are ginormous. So be sure to stock up your pets and home with pest control.  I will spare you the photo, but you will see them.

 

  • You will see owls on many businesses and homes. No, they are not real. Folks put them up to scare off the noisy, messy grackle birds. There are plenty of sounds of nature such as the grackles. They hang out at the HEB stores. You cannot miss them. They are loud and carry on full conversations all day and all night. They watch your every move with a deep soul stare.  You have to see them for yourself…

  • Oh yeah, H E B is a large grocery store chain in Texas based in San Antonio.

Texas HEB-Texisms-USMexpats.wordpress.com-Texas-San Antonio-HEB-Grocery Shopping.JPG
HEB in the distance yet always near by

 

  • Buc-ees – what is it with all these beaver bumper stickers?  Have to admit it is adorable though.  You will not see a gas station bigger than these gas stations!

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